Hurt

How can it hurt?

How can it hurt so goddamn much, when I was the one who quit it?

Broke up with my boyfriend of three years yesterday, after long hours of thinking about it and two hours of talking about it with him. And though it was my decision, though I couldn't bring myself to ask him to stay when he was leaving, because I know that it won't bring anything good at all, and we'll be back to the same crap again in no time... despite all that, it still hurts so goddamn much that I'm crying and screaming at myself.